Relationship and emotional status: COMPLICATED 2

…Continued from previous post.

So yes, love is a feeling and like every other feeling, it is not always person exclusive unless wee make it so. it is a the result of a causative. the way we feel about people is sometimes beyond our control. see full post here.

That is not all there is to say about love however. here is the twist i spoke of in the prequel to this post.

Although love is experienced as a feeling, it is expressed as an action.

Most people are aware of the experience of love but not of the expression of it. Well, thats not a wonder though, the human kind ordinarily tends to be selfish. A feeling usually is something you sort of receive while an action is what you give. We are ordinarily more interested in what we stand to gain from people and things than what we stand it give.

Love isn’t complete until you do something about it. as a matter of fact, what validates love as love is what it makes you do. the feeling you experience is just a part of it, what you do with that feeling or what the feeling makes you do is another. my hand is me, but it is not all there is to me. so love isn’t complete if it is only professed, it must be shown.

So the way i describe love is this- feelings are a necesary condition, but it is not sufficient. twopeople-main

Our actions and decisions are products of our thoughts or and feelings. The choices a natural man makes are sourced from two main channels feelings and/or reason ( the supernatural man has a 3rd dimension which is his spirit; and he does well to always follow his leading. Also, ladies claim have a super power called intuition. lol. Well, that really is just a superscript of their feelings faculty).

Again the stronger force between your reason and feeling is the one you feed the most. If you are undisciplined and always act on impulse, it implies that your feelings are stronger than your reason. it implies that you have fed your feelings more than you have fed your will. Its an unsafe way to live and even your relationship will suffer for it in the long run. But a disciplined man who has learnt to control his feelings and to value thought and reason will on the overall make better choices and live a better life. (This thought of mine is subject to interpretation based on context. I also believe strongly that your heart (innermost self) knows better than your head).6157340_f248

In essence, what you feel might be completely outside your control, but what you do isn’t. That’s why, though its possible to feel love for more than one person, it is not ideal and you shouldn’t and you can choose not to. Ideally, i think you shouldn’t love more than one. You shouldn’t devote your time, efforts, and emotions to more than one person. You shouldn’t feed your feelings to a point where it controls you and make you take actions that you would regret especially if you are already in another relationship or when you notice that a potential relationship could be a toxic one.

In conclusion, take control of your love life. dont settle for anything less and dont give anything less than you can give. if your emotional status is complicated, its because you’ve allowed it so. chyange that today, feed positive feelings, starve toxic ones. love should be healthy, but you have to choose it so. love is better when you make it exclusive, you have the power to do so and so do i.




PS: lets have a discussion about this. write comments and share your experiences in the comment box below. you can also follow this blog to make sure you dont miss any of my posts. You can also like and share with people in your network.

Soaga Afolabi

IWrite, ISpeak, IINspire!!!

Image source: google



proverbs 26: Make sense or Shut Up


Pro 26:4-5         Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.

                                      Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.

It takes wisdom to discern when speech is silver while silence is gold. It is not every word spoken to you that deserves a response; and not every action (in most case offensive) towards you that requires a reaction.

Wisdom will teach you to be still when need be; and it will also teach you when plus ‘how-to- speak’ where it is necessary. The how-to-speak in any situation is of utmost and critical importance because it decides and says a whole lot of things.(see prov29:20)s-COMMUNICATION-SKILLS-large

The grace of a man’s speech can attract kings and noble men to him (pro22:11); likewise the disgrace of his speech can and will also repel mere men from him.

The entirety of what a man is made of can be discerned from the words of his mouth for we can only speak out of the abundance of our heart. Therefore a wise man knows that when how-to-speak isn’t known, silence is essential. Even a fool is counted wise when he simply shuts up! (pro 17:28)

So rightly put; what decides which is a better option between speaking/replying and silence is the availability of a proper/correct reply or answer. That means that the how-to-speak is what determines the when-to-speak. if you cannot make sense with your words, you can do so with your silence.

So the messagEmilysQuotes.Com-silence-fool-relationship-wisdom-advice-Imam-Alie is this: THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. A word spoken can’t be taken back. There is no point in saying or doing things that will make you worse off. Two wrongs have never added up to one right. If your words or actions won’t solve problems or make things better, then it’s better you keep that ‘piece of your mind’ to yourself. if you must respond to situations and offenses in words or action, make sure you are giving a proper and appropraite response that will make both and your hearer/receiver better off.

In conclusion, it is worthy to note also that sometimes silence speaks louder than noise and inaction achieves more than wrong action. Selah

Soaga Afolabi Olusegun