my pursuit of perfection and the fear of counter success 2

In my previous post, i started a discussion on the pursuit of a perfect life. in summary, i wrote that the perfect life isn’t a life without flaws but rather a ‘flaw-overcoming’ life. i also stated that nobody was born with imperfections and flaws but that we all picked those bad habits here on earth just the same way we pick up clothes; and that if we can change the clothes we wear, then we can also change our habits and inadvertently best our lives. i concluded on why a luxurious life isn’t evil; but that our pursuit and need of it shouldn’t be allowed to turn into greed. The full article can be read here: http://bit.ly/194si5D.

Now to the fear of counter success

People have different kinds of fears in life. A common one is the fear of failure(a.k.a atichyphobia), and a less common one is the fear of success(achievemephobia). Neither of this have really haunted me. The fear I had to deal with was the fear of counter-success. Becoming successful has never really been the problem for some people, staying successful has been falling-save-mewhere the challenge lies. The world is full of ‘used-to-be’s’ and ‘formers’. its common to hear stuff like “he used to have a great marriage”, ” he is the former world champion”, “he used to drive a nice car” or “she used to have a great body”.  Counter success has plagued many people both in biblical days and even in our contemporary age.

Two quick examples off my head are Rehoboam in the bible and Tiger woods of 2009. Both didn’t really have issues making it to the top. But when they both got there; with their own hands they pulled themselves down. So they did achieve success, but they pulled a counter success stunt successfully as well. While Rehoboam misused power, Woods’ case was in the abuse of sex.

Abuse of power and sex are not the only two things that lead to counter success, money is another major counter success causative. it must be noted just like in the earlier article that these things in themselves are not bad. Man was created to have ‘dominion’ and not be dominated and that’s why there is an unquenchable desire in every one of us to have some sort of power and authority. Money is good and necessary for survival. Sex is a physiological and sometimes psychological Albert-Florence's-Missteps-Colorneed in us. thus, If these things can be identified as needs, then they ought to be met. And there are legal and appropriate ways to go about it. But when the need for them turns into greed, then we have a problem in our hands because it will cause us to take the back door to achieve them. And there are always consequences for that- counter success!

Someone said once that the secret to success in life is to find one’s weaknesses early enough and deal with them. I believe that this is ideally the antidote to counter success. we all have our strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. our strengths and talents regardless of our weaknesses and flaws can help us achieve success of some sort, but what will make us maintain that success is our ability to manage our flaws, weaknesses and excesses.

The first step towards solving a problem is usually identifying it. I like to say that a man who has a problem and doesn’t know that he has one, has the greatest problem in life. It is when we find those areas of vulnerability that we can take appropriate measures to resolve them.

For identified negative habits, its been suggested that what we consistently do for 21 days becomes a part of us. Recent research is proving to disprove that but then I still believe it could work. So we can start up personal campaigns against bad habits or pro good habits campaigns in an attempt to put off the ‘bad habit clothes’ and put on the good ones.

If you spend poorly, you can decide to watch how you spend for the next 21 days. If you desire to be chaste with the opposite sex, you can ‘fast’ them (i.e avoid them or circumstances that put you in an uncomfortable position) for that period. Conscious efforts such as these can rewrite the conduct code in our systems and over time change our habits. Practice they say makes perfect and repetition is often the key to mastery.

you don’t have to be an example of a man who rose to the top only to later plummet. you don’t have to take a nose dive after attaining the success you worked hard for. you can be successful and stay successful. You don’t have to fear counter success, you can prevent it while you work towards your success.  Find that Achilles heel and work relentlessly to overcome it. As you improve on your strengths, also take out time to work on your weaknesses too.

love you

Soaga Afolabi achilles' heel 2

Advertisements

proverbs 26: Make sense or Shut Up

Shut-up

Pro 26:4-5         Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest thou also be like unto him.

                                      Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own conceit.

It takes wisdom to discern when speech is silver while silence is gold. It is not every word spoken to you that deserves a response; and not every action (in most case offensive) towards you that requires a reaction.

Wisdom will teach you to be still when need be; and it will also teach you when plus ‘how-to- speak’ where it is necessary. The how-to-speak in any situation is of utmost and critical importance because it decides and says a whole lot of things.(see prov29:20)s-COMMUNICATION-SKILLS-large

The grace of a man’s speech can attract kings and noble men to him (pro22:11); likewise the disgrace of his speech can and will also repel mere men from him.

The entirety of what a man is made of can be discerned from the words of his mouth for we can only speak out of the abundance of our heart. Therefore a wise man knows that when how-to-speak isn’t known, silence is essential. Even a fool is counted wise when he simply shuts up! (pro 17:28)

So rightly put; what decides which is a better option between speaking/replying and silence is the availability of a proper/correct reply or answer. That means that the how-to-speak is what determines the when-to-speak. if you cannot make sense with your words, you can do so with your silence.

So the messagEmilysQuotes.Com-silence-fool-relationship-wisdom-advice-Imam-Alie is this: THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. A word spoken can’t be taken back. There is no point in saying or doing things that will make you worse off. Two wrongs have never added up to one right. If your words or actions won’t solve problems or make things better, then it’s better you keep that ‘piece of your mind’ to yourself. if you must respond to situations and offenses in words or action, make sure you are giving a proper and appropraite response that will make both and your hearer/receiver better off.

In conclusion, it is worthy to note also that sometimes silence speaks louder than noise and inaction achieves more than wrong action. Selah

Soaga Afolabi Olusegun

14056408547_463a41beab_b

perspectives: the book.

Finally! I have now published my first book. It is a collection of some of my deepest thoughts and its titled perspectives.
It is now available in amazon stores. Download link is http://amzn.to/1lvZZC6. Please check it out and help spread the news on facebook, twitter, and any other means available.
Thanks for all the love and support. God bless you!

Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.