my pursuit of perfection and the fear of counter success 2

In my previous post, i started a discussion on the pursuit of a perfect life. in summary, i wrote that the perfect life isn’t a life without flaws but rather a ‘flaw-overcoming’ life. i also stated that nobody was born with imperfections and flaws but that we all picked those bad habits here on earth just the same way we pick up clothes; and that if we can change the clothes we wear, then we can also change our habits and inadvertently best our lives. i concluded on why a luxurious life isn’t evil; but that our pursuit and need of it shouldn’t be allowed to turn into greed. The full article can be read here:

Now to the fear of counter success

People have different kinds of fears in life. A common one is the fear of failure(a.k.a atichyphobia), and a less common one is the fear of success(achievemephobia). Neither of this have really haunted me. The fear I had to deal with was the fear of counter-success. Becoming successful has never really been the problem for some people, staying successful has been falling-save-mewhere the challenge lies. The world is full of ‘used-to-be’s’ and ‘formers’. its common to hear stuff like “he used to have a great marriage”, ” he is the former world champion”, “he used to drive a nice car” or “she used to have a great body”.  Counter success has plagued many people both in biblical days and even in our contemporary age.

Two quick examples off my head are Rehoboam in the bible and Tiger woods of 2009. Both didn’t really have issues making it to the top. But when they both got there; with their own hands they pulled themselves down. So they did achieve success, but they pulled a counter success stunt successfully as well. While Rehoboam misused power, Woods’ case was in the abuse of sex.

Abuse of power and sex are not the only two things that lead to counter success, money is another major counter success causative. it must be noted just like in the earlier article that these things in themselves are not bad. Man was created to have ‘dominion’ and not be dominated and that’s why there is an unquenchable desire in every one of us to have some sort of power and authority. Money is good and necessary for survival. Sex is a physiological and sometimes psychological Albert-Florence's-Missteps-Colorneed in us. thus, If these things can be identified as needs, then they ought to be met. And there are legal and appropriate ways to go about it. But when the need for them turns into greed, then we have a problem in our hands because it will cause us to take the back door to achieve them. And there are always consequences for that- counter success!

Someone said once that the secret to success in life is to find one’s weaknesses early enough and deal with them. I believe that this is ideally the antidote to counter success. we all have our strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and threats. our strengths and talents regardless of our weaknesses and flaws can help us achieve success of some sort, but what will make us maintain that success is our ability to manage our flaws, weaknesses and excesses.

The first step towards solving a problem is usually identifying it. I like to say that a man who has a problem and doesn’t know that he has one, has the greatest problem in life. It is when we find those areas of vulnerability that we can take appropriate measures to resolve them.

For identified negative habits, its been suggested that what we consistently do for 21 days becomes a part of us. Recent research is proving to disprove that but then I still believe it could work. So we can start up personal campaigns against bad habits or pro good habits campaigns in an attempt to put off the ‘bad habit clothes’ and put on the good ones.

If you spend poorly, you can decide to watch how you spend for the next 21 days. If you desire to be chaste with the opposite sex, you can ‘fast’ them (i.e avoid them or circumstances that put you in an uncomfortable position) for that period. Conscious efforts such as these can rewrite the conduct code in our systems and over time change our habits. Practice they say makes perfect and repetition is often the key to mastery.

you don’t have to be an example of a man who rose to the top only to later plummet. you don’t have to take a nose dive after attaining the success you worked hard for. you can be successful and stay successful. You don’t have to fear counter success, you can prevent it while you work towards your success.  Find that Achilles heel and work relentlessly to overcome it. As you improve on your strengths, also take out time to work on your weaknesses too.

love you

Soaga Afolabi achilles' heel 2


Today, we’ll be discussing leadership and money and the often neglected relationship between both. There are 2 sides to my story today which I’ve titled beneath as part1 and part2. . So let’s begin.
Leadership could be defined as influence. That is an ability to affect and coordinate a person(s) action towards a specific goal.
In Ecc10:19, the bible says that Money answers all things . I could paraphrase that verse by saying Many things respond to money; especially people. And since leadership is basically about people, it also responds directly and indirectly to money.
World famous leader and apostle Paul said “I’d spend and be spent for you”(2cor12:15). In that single statement, he categorically shows us that his exemplary leadership was never without cost….both physical and also financial.

From my little experience in life, I have observed that people are generally influenced by wealthy people. Willingly, we love to do whatever they tell us. More so when they spend that money on us, we are more often than not automatically compelled to do whatever they say.
Does this make leadership/influence the exclusive reserve of rich folks? No. You don’t have to be rich to be a leader; but if you are a rich leader, the better your chances of being a great leader.
Nevertheless, Little things such as buying petty gifts, paying someone’s bus fare, buying someone lunch or even a simple text message on their birthday could go a long way and you don’t have to be a billionaire to afford any of these. Any time I see an opportunity to do any of these, I see yet another chance to score more influence points and enhance my ‘hold’ on that person.
Let me share this basic truth with you. To whom much is given,much is also expected; to whom lil’ is given, lil’ is also expected. Bottom line is that when something is given, something is usually expected(Luk12:38). Consciously and unconsciously people know this and respond to this principle. So when you touch their heart (which money always somehow do) they’ll give you their hand and follow you better.(Prov18:16)

With great power comes great responsibility. Apart from the fact that you might need to spend on the people; many people in fact afford to waive this aside. This other part is however quite indispensable. you must spend money to improve yourself and equip yourself in leadership. The world is changing fast and new trends and systems are coming up everyday. A 7 star leader knows that he has to keep up with that pace and level of information or risk being left behind on the wrong side of history.
This is something I’ve seen that applies everywhere. Even in my short experience in church leadership.
My pastor then you to say quite jokingly though, that Salvation may be free, but study bibles, workshops and literature seldom are. Proper training usually demands some tuition paid formally or informally, directly or indirectly; you just have to spend that money!
It is however important that I mention here as I conclude that all I have written so far isn’t to suggest that money can buy you authority, but it is however designed to make you see how it could enhance your grip on your followers and boost your level of influence over them.
So it is not a recommendation on how you can get into positions but rather on what you can do if you are already in a position.
Money can buy you influence. We may claim not to love it, but we all have need of it and so we like it. By principle of sensational transference which I learnt from malcolm gladwell’s book-blink, that likabilty factor we have towards money we tend to transfer also to their owners especially when they share the money with us. Money is definitely not all you need to be successful in leadership, but with it, you can achieve much as a leader!

Soaga afolabi olusegun

THE spender, THE saver, the STINGY!

economics teach us that our income goes into either savings or consumption implying that whatever enters into our hands is either kept for future investments and spending or spent instantly. but they never told us of another category. the category of men who dont spend, cover up by saying they are saving when they are simply being stingy.

here is wisdom:

dont be a miser of money, but be a wise spender. the fastest route to poverty and decrease is spending all or more than you earn. nonetheless, it is pure stinginess to self and to others, to have and still suffer lack. learn to Balance your saving-spending equation. then will you experirnce a steady and continuous increase in your finances.

inspire into greatness!