Dont just take NO for an answer, ask WHY!

Several research studies have revealed that most non-routine sales occur only after 5 follow-ups. This means that it takes at least 5 continuous and consistent follow up efforts after the initial sales contact, before a prospective customer agrees to patronize your product. That’s an equivalent of 4 NOs before you get 1 YES.

This highlights the importance of a list of things. Top of that list is persistence; but also important, though not often spoken about, is feedback.

Here is what I mean, 4 NOs don’t always ordinarily guarantee a YES at the 5th trial. It is foolish to do things the same way and expect a different result. What you do with rejection is what decides what happens at your next try. The issue is that often, people don’t make an effort to find out why they are being turned down. They just turn away without asking for feedback.

What we ought to do when a prospective customer refuses to patronize our business is to find out why he/she didn’t. You ought to take every rejection moment as a learning opportunity- What did I get wrong? What can I make better? What extras can give me an advantage in my next outing? What can I do to change this customer’s mind? Why do you prefer my competitors to me? Don’t just accept being rejected, ask why!

This finds its application not just in sales. Whether it is a prospective lover turning down your advances, or a prospective employer showing you the door after an interview, sometimes what you need to do to guarantee that you don’t get rejected again is to ask and receive feedback.

Don’t just accept being rejected, ask why!

In some cases, you’d find out that what asking that all important question does is to make the prospect see that they really don’t have a reason for rejecting you. Their inability to point you to your flaws could bring to the fore front their own bias and in certain cases cause them to rethink on their decision.

Whatever the case might be, whether there is a flaw identified, or a bias revealed, or even neither of the two, we are presented with a winning opportunity when we choose to ask questions rather than accept fate when faced with rejection.  This winning opportunity might perhaps be the reason why you don’t need to try 3 more times before you get your desired ‘YES’.



This must be said.

It grieves me when I wake up early to go to work only to find another man who had woken up much longer than I did preaching to souls that need to be preached to.

I am not saddened that they preach, but I think that if you’d go through all that sacrifice to do a noble thing, then that thing should be done right.

Painting pictures of hell, creating awareness about the existence of demons isn’t what the gospel is about. In fact, a strong rebuke against sin isn’t what the gospel is about too.

All that will never CHANGE a man. Only the gospel is the saving power of God. Only the gospel CAN make men be BORN AGAIN.

Think about it…The only reason why a *danfo driver uses a seat belt is because he sees that he is approaching a Lastma official. The instance he gets past the checkpost, he throws it away like we dispose used toilet paper. The Fear of *Lastma bends him to use the seat belt, but as soon as the sight is gone, he returns to his posture as a non seat belt user.

All those sermons about hell and the rest only put fear in the hearts of men. Fear bends people’s will, it doesn’t change it. As soon as the picture you paint fades from their heart( and it will fade b’cos really, we’ve got important issues like fuel to think about too ‪#‎lol‬), they soon return to the very things you tried to save them from.600x600

The gospel is the GOOD NEWS. It is a story of LOVE and perfect love casts out all fear. The Gospel doesn’t DEMAND change from people who can’t even change in the first place, it OFFERS change to those who would BELIEVE. The gospel doesn’t say go to church, rather it says God is running back to you, open your heart to him. The Gospel doesn’t demand that you love God, it preaches that God loves you, has sent his son to die for you so you can be forgiven of ALL sins, and so you can receive NOW, eternal life.

Think of it, who wouldn’t love God back after he has received God’s love and forgiveness. And love is the fulfillment of all the Law. When we see the love God has for us, we are propelled to reciprocate the love to him and the people around us.

So the next time you decide to preach the gospel, ask yourself, is my message a GOOD news? If no, then it’s probably not news at all.

Before you repost that facebook message, will this sow the seed of LOVE in men’s heart? If it won’t, then it is probably not worth your time.


*A Danfo bus is a commercial peassenger bus popular in Lagos Nigeria

*Lastma is a traffic enforcement agency in Lagos.

the noble impossible duty

Who is a complete failure? A man who in his quest to please everybody by doing anything and everything fails to do anything and everything right and at the same time, he fails at his original intent/goal of pleasing everybody because everybody cannot be pleased. It is simply impossible! I have reached a conclusion that one of the necessary requirements for victory and success at any task is to know one’s limit and limitations. Knowing what can’t be done would save you time and energy such that you rather focus that time and energy on tasks that can be achieved rather than one the ones that are completely outside your reach. In the field of project management, this is termed the scope of your work. Pleasing everyone is certainly one task better not pursued because it simply cannot be achieved.
Nevertheless, the bible does say that we should follow after peace with all men(Heb12:14)… implication, do what pleases all men because that’s how you get to be at peace with men. When a man does what pleases you, you don’t have qualms with him. When he does otherwise, you relationship together will most likely experience a strain. So by asking as to be at peace with all men, the bible was saying that we should do what we can to please those people we come in contact with. It is asking us to be pleasant and likeable people.
But notice the bible did say that as much as it depends on you……because really all doesn’t depend on you. You can only do a part. So the bible was saying here that do your part to please as many people as possible and be at peace with them. No matter how hard you try, you simply cant win some people over. But you can win others….. you can in fact win most others. And this is what that verse of the bible and this piece of writing is about.
One point I’m trying to establish in essence is this: quite alright, we cant win everybody over to ourselves…we can win some over. But what does the bible say we should do? It says its best to win everybody over. Even if we eventually don’t, we should have tried and done our best. Also you can’t please everyone, but you can and should try to. And therefore, despite it being an impossible task, it is yet a noble one.
What are the benefits of getting along with everybody (or more realistically, with most people)? First is that you’ll have fewer enemies and more acquaintances. That’s more peace and rest for yourself. Peace is one of man’s deepest need and its so scarce these days. The less enemies you have, the more peace you can get both without and more importantly within your heart. Also, one of our psychological needs as humans is acceptance. That need is hugely met when you please people. And thirdly and probably most importantly, we would be sowing profitable seeds and obeying the golden rule of doing unto others what we want to be done to us. In every conversation and contact with people that we meet, one thing we look out for is to leave better off….pleased……happy; not angered, frustrated, despised or any of those negative feelings. So also does everyone else. And so by giving this to everyone that meets you, you are sowing good seeds for yourself in this regards towards everyone you’ll meet.
Nonetheless, despite how noble this responsibility is, we need to recognize that a line needs to be drawn. Pleasing people might bring all those benefits at times but at a greater cost. i.e there times when such deal could be likened to you giving up your heart and collecting needed blood in the process. Blood without heart can’t be useful in your body and so such a deal shouldn’t be agreed to. Remember the condition the bible gave in Heb12. “As long as it depends on you.”
We draw the line where the norm contradicts the truth. The norm is what people want and accept. The truth is what ought to be; which in more religious term could be termed what God wants. These two we have been made to believe always contradict. In most cases, they do…..but not in all cases. For example, society today smiles at homosexuality and gives an approving nod to it. God doesn’t! so if being gay or approving it will please your neighbour and make you get along, should you do it? NO. Because it contradicts truth. But on the flip side, being rich is also generally acceptable and celebrated in the society and God has no ‘ish’ with it. In fact, he desires that we prosper. So should I pursue financial success? YES!
To know our limits when it comes to pleasing people and the society, we should line whatever they require with the standard of truth. If they flow together, then strive to get it done. If they don’t, you have no obligation to please them. Always do what is right over what is said to be right….because society’s norm is its truth and so it will tell you that it is right. However, society can sometimes be wrong.
In conclusion, how do I separate what is true from what isn’t. Society has its own rules and methods these day many of which are wrong and anti-truth. How do I distinguish a false norm from God’s truth. The first is through God’s word. Let it be your standard. Leverage your decisions on it and you won’t be wrong (see Gal5:23). Secondly, listen to the voice of your spirit which is your conscience. In every man’s conscience is a written set of truth codes. When we go or are about to go against those truth codes our conscience rings an alarm bell so that we can return to the path of truth. Learn to listen to that bell and follow its direction. Note that the more you ignore it, the less clearer and louder it gets.
So it is noble to get along with all people. It could be said to be quite impossible, but it is something we should do our best at. The rule of playing this game however is this: when truth contradicts norm….go for truth. Eventually, therein lays true success.

Soaga Afolabi Olusegun.

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a white lie fed to black men

One lie most of we black have grown up believing is that the white race made life better for us. So we think they are a superior race. Despite all the campaign against such silly thoughts, many people where I’m from still believe the same. We think that as long as it is white, then its right; or that if it is from the UK then it must be really OK; and that if it is from abroad then it is divinely from above; but men…….all this is really not always true.

They told us that the white man gave us electricity. I say False! Edison and Tesla did. The white man didn’t give us Microsoft, bill Gates did. And like bill said in an interview once, he wasn’t the only white kid that had the resources, information and opportunity he had then, million other whites also did. But bill (1 individual person) started the company Microsoft. The white man didn’t give us airplanes, the wright brothers did. They didn’t give us what has been termed the next best gift to mankind after Jesus- Google; Larry Page and Sergey Brin did. I like million other young men love the video game; but that also was not the white man’s invention; Ralph Baer did. E-mail was by Ray Tomlinson, camera by Stephen Sasson, and our beautiful Facebook was by mark Zuckerburg; not the white man. Indeed, all these men I’ve mentioned thus far were white in colour, but their colour wasn’t what produced the solutions and inventions, rather their hard work and geniuses which are exclusive of their race did. So I won’t attribute those inventions to the white race rather, to the men who worked hard to make them realities.

Creativity is inherent in every man God made. In the bible book of Genesis, we are told that we are all created in his image. Men, women, children, aged, black, white, Hispanic, tall, short, potbellied, hour glass shaped, and every other categories and human types in between; we are all created in the image and likeness( i.e. similitude which refers to the very substance that makes up his being) of our creator.

In the same chapter of the book of Genesis, we see that one major feature or characteristic of God is creativity. That’s what he is and that’s what we all are- creative and innovative. Many of us have lost touch with that part of us due to our dogmatic daily routines and other creativity-killers we are involved with, nonetheless, that doesn’t change the fact that it is in us- both white and blacks.

Let’s take this a bit further. Men of African descent have also made their own inventions. Did you know that the Air conditioning unit was made by Frederick M. Jones in July 12, 1949. Richard Spikes made the automatic gear shift in February 28, 1932. The cellular phone was invented by Henry T. Sampson in July 6, 1971. The elevator was by Alexander Miles(the man in the picture below), fire extinguisher by   T. Marshall, guitar by Robert F. Flemming, Jr., hair brush by a 19th century woman named Lydia O. Newman. Walter B. Purvis made the hand stamp, Sarah Boone invented the ironing board, the lantern was created by  Michael C. Harvey. The lawn mower was invented by  L. A. Burr. Refrigerator, spark plug, tricycle and even the type-writer were all made by people whose skins were black.
Don’t get me wrong, I must say the black man didn’t any of the inventions I have thus far listed in the previous paragraph, noble men and women who fortunately had black skin did. So don’t say that the black man invented the traffic light, because it was actually Garrett Morgan who had a black skin who did.
So it is really not a function of their race or skin colour. Its about who we are and who God has made us. He made us all equal, no one is superior to the other. I must admit that they have a structure over there (abroad) that allows people reach their potentials better than we have here. All the black inventors I have mentioned and the ones I have also omitted probably made their inventions in the white man’s land……but even that isn’t a function of location but rather of the systems and the individual and collective men and women that made those systems. (there is this stuff I heard that if we move all the Americans and relocate them to some parts of Africa, and do the same to those Africans by moving them to America; in a few years’ time, those remote places in Africa will become as America…and America will become in most ways as the Africa we have today. It’s just a thing about our mind-sets)

We Africans can imagine, and so we can invent, we can innovate, we can create. Yes we can! If we can, we should; if we should, we must. So lets arise o ye Africans. Its time to write new chapters in the books of history……..chapters about a glorious Africa; a Africa of good people, great nations, new inventions and innovations. A Africa that is not just receiving from all others, but rather one that is making solid contribution to the development of the global world and the achievements of the goals and objectives of the entire humanity.

Soaga Afolabi Olusegun.